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[muckspout]

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[altusimperius]

"Are they?"

He won't push it, though-- it's Edgard's loss.
Combing through as carefully as he can, he scoffs.

"Don't be a baby. I'm being as gentle as I can, all things considered."

[muckspout]

Edgard scoffs and winces exaggeratedly.

"I'm not being a baby! It hurts! Do you do this to yourself every day? Is this why it takes you so long? What are you doing? I can't see it!"

Edgard takes a deep breath. He is staying very still despite the string of complaints.

[altusimperius]

"Yes," Bene answers primly, "this is why it takes so long, and why it's so shiny and silky, though yours would only smell as nice if we washed it too.

...but that would take too long, to do properly."

He's being quite careful about not ripping the comb through knots, because tearing it would remove any chance of salvaging what's there.

"You could have lovely hair, if you'd only care for it."

[muckspout]

"'s fine." Edgard mumbles softly. "Don't have time to brush my hair forever. No idea how you find the time."

Each word is punctuated with a grimace as Benedict tears through it.

[altusimperius]

"Then you should cut it," Bene says bluntly, taking his time with one especially wretched knot.

"If you're not going to care for it, why keep it long?"

[muckspout]

"I like it long! You can hide under it and it feels good when the wind blows through it."

He flinches a little in response to the battle with the wretched knot.

"Plus cutting it is also work."

[altusimperius]

"All right, then be nice to it?"

Bene shakes his head to himself, this being the most obvious thing in the world.

"Your hair's like... well it's part of you. And it deserves to be treated well. At least treat it as well as you would a pet. You wouldn't let a dog get this ratty, would you?"

[muckspout]

"That is entirely different!" Edgard says. "This is my choice. A dog needs someone to take care of it, so he doesn't get sick."

He huffs. "I am not mean to my hair, I just let it be natural."

[altusimperius]

"Even animals clean themselves, Edgard," Bene mutters, rolling his eyes as he finally clears another knot.

[muckspout]

"Yes. They clean themselves naturally and not with awful things like soap." He smiles at the wall. "Thank you for proving my point."

[altusimperius]

"So you lick yourself?"

[muckspout]

There is an excruciatingly long silence as the full gravity of this phrase plummets and both men have plenty of time to imagine it.

"No." He says quietly.

[altusimperius]

"Hmm."

Time to just. ...sit with that.